I really wanted to start this blog when our group started with step one again, however, I procrastinated and now we are on step 5 this Wednesday! Well I am learning that I don't have to do things perfectly. Every step I take, no matter how small, outside my circle of comfort and my cycle of bad habits, sets me on a path of new possibilities. So here goes with my first post which happens to be about the fireside I attended tonight.
Once a month a fireside is organized for the ARP program and PASAG program. Tonight the speaker was Phil Harrision, author of Clean Hands, Pure Heart. (I met his wife Colleen Harrison, author of He Did Deliver Me from Bondage and she was lovely) ANYwho, Brother Harrison spoke about his recovery from addiction. The key part being his development of a personal testimony of Jesus Christ. Here are some of the points that stood out to me:
- The Lord misses me when I am not spiritually near him.
- Jesus Christ is not only the source of truth but the source of power.
- You can't hide your sins from the Lord. He went on to share this example:
Imagine that you return to the Savior, all dressed in white in your beautiful resurrected state, to be evaluated by Him. In your hands behind your back you hold your coffee pot, or whatever addiction you struggle with, fill in the blank. This would never do. We must not hide our sins behind our backs but hold them in front of us; outstretched to the Lord, and ask him to take them from us.
- How do we get the courage to let go and believe that His way will be better and bring us happiness? {This is the big question and here's the answer: It is a gift He will give us}
- If we only have the desire to believe...whatever we have, the Lord will work with us.
- The Lord will give us the willingness to let go of what we see as the "positive" or the thrill of our addictions.
- However long it takes, it's alright. The Lord is going to help us and it will be fine.
- Because this change of heart is from the inside out you may not notice it right away. Your spouse may not notice it, your bishop may not notice it, but it is change, however small.
- We do not have to concern ourselves with our addiction. We only have to surrender it to the Lord.
- A Broken heart and a contrite spirit means we are willing to stop being God and let Him be God.
He ended with a scripture: 2 Nephi 33:6 I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.
I am truly grateful to have a testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he has personally carried me at times when I felt hopeless and alone. I know that he loves me and is patient with my efforts to improve. I am looking forward to sharing my hope and my testimony with other sisters.
